Monday, October 18, 2010

Saying Good Buy


It is very hard to write about this...

I will use this blog post to say good buy to my 3 unborn babies. Two of them I have lost this year, one very recently. I have not been blogging well this year, and I have not been painting well this year. I have not been doing many things this year.

I will never see them smile, and I will never be able to hold them. I will not know what color their eyes were. I will not know if they were going to be good at math, or drawing, or dancing....I will not get to watch their first steps, and I will not be able to watch my older kids become big brother and sister. But this is life, and it keeps going. I am blessed to have 2 children, who could have easily not be here as the rest of them. Sining a lulluby to the little ones, I know that they are being taken care of. However for me pictures always spoke better than words. The one above was painted today.

18 comments:

Art4Sol said...

My heart weeps for you. You are such a wonderful person, with so much to give....I'm sure there will be another fortunate soul coming your way...be patient...heal...and thank you for sharing so much of yourself.

H J Hess said...

It is painful now, but later the memory of your babies will bring you peace. They will always be close in your heart. You will always remember them when birthdays, and first days of school, and learner's permits, and graduations, and other significant events come up. Hold close your two older children, and remember your three little angels.
Mine would have been 25, but I do remember her.
I wish you peace and good memories.
.

Crazy Mom Tats! said...

Oh how very hard. I'm so sorry and wish there was something that would take the sting and pain away. But the thing that hurts so much makes the little ones you have now all the more precious...
Blessings

BSOTF said...

Victoria,
You need to morn your lost that is true.Cause you have lost loved ones. That does hurt. But you have a wonderful tribute to them with this lovely painting. I know what it's like to go through this. Plus I have several friends who has also lost babies. Celebrate the love you have for them too. Yes, you have 2 other childern treasure them too. Just remember that there are those of us you can talk to IF you like & you think it will help. You aren't alone. You have friends that do understand & are here to support you. Smile, we care about you too.

Janie said...

I am sure there were tears in that painting xx I truly understand your pain, 5 losses to date but I'm ever hopeful xx

May said...

I'm sorry to hear this. I myself have had 2 miscarriages and know how incredibly painful they are. I hope this painting helps with your healing...

smellyrhinostudio said...

I am very sorry for your loss. I know your pain, and I know what it feels like to have so much pain and feel alone like there is no one to talk to about this awful experience, mostly because it makes people uncomfortable and they don't know how to comfort you. Just know that there are many out there who will be there to talk if you need them, including me. ps. it's "Goodbye" :)

H West said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I've lost one too. Maybe he/she is with yours right now!!! This painting is beautiful in every way.

rossichka said...

My dear Vita, this drawing is created out of pain and sorrow, but is full of so much tenderness and love! There's nothing redundant in it. All the details speak... I hope the souls of your babies are in Heaven now where they will find peace!
Please, do not worry about the blog! Just follow your life... You are happy to have a loving family - this is your island!
I'm so sorry for your loss... You are in my thoughts! Kisses!

Jane said...

Dear Vita, I am so sad for your loss but rejoice in your 2 children. I lost my first baby but have a wonderful daughter of 24 and a son of 21. I sometimes think that had my 1st baby gone to term then we would never have had my darling son....life has it's reasons sometimes.
Take time to grieve but stay focussed on your little ones.Wishing you peace.
Jane x

Sara said...

I've been following your blog ever since I bought a print from your Etsy store last year. I just wanted to say that this post really touched me, and that even though we don't know each other personally, you are in my heart today.

Your paintings make me smile and carry my imagination away. I am inspired by them, and I am in awe of your talent and imagination.

Thinking of you in this difficult time. Today's painting is breathtaking. The angel is so beautiful and she looks like she is very, very kind.

Sara

Sara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jessie said...

Vita, I'm so sorry to hear of your sadness. This painting is absolutely beautiful in every way. You say you haven't produced much in the way of painting but you have! All your work is amazing and maybe in a while you'll look back at it wih new eyes and see how clever you've been. We can all see it.:) xx

Jehanne said...

I am so sorry for you lost. It takes time to heal, both spiritually and physically. Give yourself the time.
Your painting "saying good bye" is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Christina Silverio said...

I am so very very sorry for your losses. I myself lost one pregnancy; I cannot imagine what it must feel like to lose 3.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope with all my heart that God blesses you with a new and healthy little baby to hold and love.

lindasarah said...

I am so sorry to read this and send my warmest wishes and hopes that this terrible time for you has, at least, some sweet and funny and gentle moments to help you through - and that you find the strength to keep telling these incredibly beautiful stories with your magical art. I've loved looking at your work for a long time..it takes me back to the best parts of childhood and I become, once again, like a little wide-eyed girl looking at your pictures, loving them. You are an amazing artist - and it's so unfair that you've had to suffer such an immense loss.
Take big care, love linda xx

Vita said...

I want to thank each and everyone of you for your warm words and good thoughts. I am not able to reply to each comment individually, even though if I could I would give everyone a big thank you hug.

kunstzinnigdagboek said...

How sad...and what a beautiful way of expressing your sorrow. I'm so sorry for your losses...you have two really beautiful children and I'm sure your other babies were beautiful too...harsh as life is, it is giving us beautiful gems as well. It's good to see you painting about your feelings...even when they're sad...but the painting is so wonderful and shows your faith of a safe place for your babies and that is so touching...
Thank you for sharing.

 

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